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Not a Transformers: Fall of Cybertron Review

On the September 30th, 2012 episode of Reality Breached’s side project Wha’cha Playin’, a verdict was rendered on the game Transformers Fall of Cybertron. “Breakout Star” Josh gave his opinion on the game…and he was not kind. As a serious journalistic publication, Techpedition cannot allow such an important game fall by the wayside. A review had to be done! The following is real, its serious and well…its incomplete. But hell, its all I could get out of his slacker-ass. With any luck we’ll get another Techpeditioneer to review this masterpiece before the end of the year. Enjoy! -Sergio

Lugo II, Sergio – where’s my tranny review
Alcaraz, Josh – oh you still wanted that?
Lugo II, Sergio – yeah, geez
Alcaraz, Josh – i was hoping i got out of it by giving my thoughts about it on the show
Lugo II, Sergio – um no
Alcaraz, Josh – Well damn it.

So here it is.

I want to preface this review by saying I have not played the game that this game is a sequel to nor have I played any other Transformers games. I know nothing of the lore or anything else.

Transformers: Fall of Cybertron is a third-person shooter from High Moon Studios and published by Activision. It is the direct sequel to 2010’s Transformers: War for Cybertron. The game was released on August 21, 2012 in North America and on August 24, 2012 in Europe for Windows, PS3 and Xbox 360. This review is based on the PS3 version of the game.

*Sigh*

I must be missing something because this game seems to have gotten favorable reviews. I’m just not seeing the allure. First off, the difficulty settings seem to be very imbalanced. For example, the first introduction level is just a tutorial basically where you start off on the Ark. Easy, but not as easy as it should be. The second level is swarm after swarm of robots who look just like every other robot, friend or foe, just nailing you from every angle. Now, I’m playing on the easy setting and some parts in these early levels are still relentless.

That being said, the atmosphere is also lost on me. Everything looks like the same texture was used for everything. Walls, floors, weapons, characters. The more I play it the more tedious it gets. I’m not having fun. This game is just annoying and now it feels like a chore I just have to power through. After being killed about twenty times in the same spot, again on easy, I quit. That’s right. I gave up. Say I suck at video games. Say “You couldn’t possibly get an accurate feel after just 3 levels! Damn it we depend on you Josh to tell us what’s good!”

Well you are absolutely right. There might be something magnificent waiting just on the other side of level 3. But guess what, I don’t care. If the first 3 levels are so mundane and boring, then you don’t deserve to show me all the hard work I’m sure went into this game. The voice acting cast is superb, the little bit of it I heard, with the likes of Peter Cullen, Fred Tatasciore, Nolan North, and Steve Blum. That is really the only good thing I have to say about this game. Everything else was just awful in my opinion. So I dedicate this review to that sadistic bastard Sergio Lugo for making me write a review on this game, although I did learn a valuable lesson.

Never agree to write a review on a game you know nothing about or have NO interest in playing.

Please forward all complaints and hate mail to Sergio Lugo II c/o Techpedition.com